Questions to ask your kids that you’ll want to remember the answers to

Some of the best things your kid will ever say come from a question you almost didn't bother to ask. And here's the catch: the answers have a shelf life. Ask a four-year-old what they want to be when they grow up and you'll get "a dog." Ask the same kid two years later and it's "a paleontologist, or a YouTuber." Wait too long and the early answer is gone, along with the kid who gave it.

So ask. And — this is the whole trick — write down the answer in their exact words, with the date. A summary is worthless; the verbatim line is the treasure.

Here are questions worth asking.

The ones that reveal how they see the world

• What do you think grown-ups do all day?
• What is the dog thinking right now?
• If you had a restaurant, what would you serve?
• What's something grown-ups worry about that they shouldn't?
• What's a rule you'd make if you were in charge?

The ones that go to the heart

• What makes you feel better when you're sad?
• Who's the kindest person you know, and what did they do?
• What's something you're proud of?
• When do you feel most like yourself?
• What do you love about our family?

The ones to ask every year (the time capsule)

Ask these on the same day each year — a birthday works — and keep every year's answer. The drift is the gold; reading "best friend: the mailman" at age three next to "best friend: Priya" at age eight is the whole point.

• What's your favorite thing right now?
• What do you want to be when you grow up?
• Who's your best friend?
• What's the best thing that happened this year?
• How old do you feel?

Capturing the answers

The question is half of it; keeping the answer is the other half. Jot it the moment they say it — exact words, dated — because by tonight you'll have softened it into something blander than what they actually said. A running place to collect these (rather than scattered notes you lose) is most of what Trove Notes does: it asks, you answer, it keeps it.

You don't need all of these. Pick three at dinner tonight, write down what they say, and you'll already have something you'd never have remembered otherwise.